The Thing About Hair.

Correction:
The Thing About MY Hair.

The one thing people would know me (or rather, remember me) by would most likely go by the lines of:

"Theeeeeere, that girl. The one with the short, curly hair?"

(Which is only second to the adjective 'plump' and vice versa.)

Yes, the keratin that was laid to rest upon my head has definitely not been kind to me whatsoever, howsoever.

If I could give them all a second death, I WOULD.

It's amazing how they can frustrate me to no end, no matter how well I treat them.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, how well I TRY to treat them.

Palmolive, Rejoice, Pantene, Head & Shoulders...

Each and every follicle seem to throw a Hairography episode when they find out it's something new, and foof.

They stand their ground (literally), enraged in their refusal to be tamed.

They especially enjoy going bazookas after getting drenched in sweat or humidity and severing contact with a much loved pillow.

Ah yes, the woes of many hair-bearers, you might say.

You're lucky you're not me then.

Before you start that lecture on straightening my hair and all doodeedums related to that, you should know that I -have- experimented with that before.

And that I won't be doing it again because:

1. It's pricey to maintain.

2. DAMN, does it hurt. Washing my singed scalp that last days are not my cup of tea.

3. I didn't like the part where it didn't feel... Me.

So yeah, as much as I could whine my head off with how utterly intolerant my hair can be,

I can say, as ironic as this may seem,

That I actually also rather like my curly hair (for now).

Yes, I admit it.

My hair stands for what I really am, in my physiology and, to a certain extent, my personality.

Crazy, fun-loving and... Wild? XD;

However,

Zi-Lynn and I have tried looking for solutions to tame screwed-up curls and I just don't understand why it all has to resolve to STRAIGHTENING, REBONDING or RELAXING hair.

I mean, what's so relaxing about a hot iron and chemicals trying to pull you out into something you're not?!

*sigh*

My hair and I,

It's a love-hate relationship :/

A Disco Ball Is Just Hanging By A Thread.

It's another one of those nights where it's that irritating, dry, static hot air when I feel like any attempt at doing anything,
even just blanking out,
would just seem futile.

It really DOES feel like I'm non-existent.
Not in a self-pitying kind of way but in a more bizarre, awful reality that I'm just a walking slab of meat.

No conscience, no soul.

Sometimes,
living in a dream is just scary.

Then I realize...


...


I'm just being hormonal.
Whoooooops.







P.S. Contrary to how 'emotionally disturbed' this entry may seem, Owl City's Fireflies and all their other songs are extremely ADORABLE. Go! Download! Listen! NOW.

Note to self:
STUDY LA, WOMAN! D:

Tell Me.

Why fall so madly in love with someone when you know. You just know.
They're not going to love back?

It's stupidity, one would say.

Stupid to fall so deeply, tragically, sadistically in love.
Wasting all your sentimentally on that certain someone.
Building that wall of denial higher and higher...
Convicting oneself to sweet lies.
Then reality will strike, making your wall of self-security come crashing down, down, down...

No! cries the other. It's nothing like that!

With that love, you grow.
You convince yourself that it makes you a better person.
A motivation to truly discover yourself, to make yourself that much of a greater person.
A wiser, kinder, calmer, more mature self so that when that special someone sees,
They'll count their lucky stars to find you love them.

Then. You realize: do I really KNOW that someone?
Would it really be worth all the effort you've thrust yourself into? All that love you've thirst for?

Then it's not love anymore.
It's an obsession.

You feel lost, alone.
Mourning your naivety that went unnoticed for so long.
Your feelings left cold, naked and exposed to be mocked, sneered, laughed at.



In the end,
There was never really anything to grieve for.




So tell me.
What hurts more?

To love or not to?
To BE loved or not to?

Dear God,
Teach me patience and wisdom.
To accept the fate that You have willed for me.

To wait.

Late Night Investigations.

Because my itchy fingers always loves linkies. Oh yes, they do.
Snagged this off Mun Suet.

My turnout:

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

This one, off Jun Hsien.


53 words

Speed test

Gosh, do I type slow.
...And do I need sleep.

Nights!

Losing it?

Browsing through the LLC photos made me realize something:

I seriously need to shed the pounds.

No, this isn't my non-existent self-esteem talking itself worthy again. It's a fact.
Please stop telling me I'm 'normal' and what not.
It's really not going to help..

But hey! If it means an extended lifeline, improved health and whatnot, heck. Why not right?

Sooooo as of today, I have commenced Operation-Debbie-Must-Lose-Weight!
I think taking the dogs out for an hour-long stroll is a good start, don't you?
:D

But so much for that.
A full plate of spaghetti and cups of concentrated pineapple tart residue for drinks after.

...

This. Will take some time getting used to...

I Know I'm Not Perfect.

Well obviously, I pretty damn well noticed that.

Yes, lady, I am perfectly AWARE that I am FAT.

I might also add that I'm very well not blind and that I can see my fattism perfectly fine. Even if I am four-eyed.

Thank you for reminding me that my metabolism rate is that much slower than yours.
Thank you for rubbing in my face that I DO notice that the people around me are much, much skinnier than I even if they do stuff their faces.
Thank you for reminding me that I don't have a choice but to eat after 7 because it takes my mom to fetch myself and 3 other siblings about an hour and 45 minutes there AND back.
Thank you for reminding me that I'm 'out of the norms of society'.

Well, hello hello!
Newsflash:

Yes. I have tried.

And no matter what I do?

Nothing.
Ever.
Worked.

And I hope you get that into that thick coconut shell of which you call a sorry excuse of a skull and acknowledge that people don't want to be fat. They just are.

Oh! And here's a New Year's resolution for YOU!

How about trying to convince people to like the way they ARE.
Not for what they're NOT.
Or maybe identify how sufficiently BRUISED one's self-esteem might already be?
Or maybe to just put our lives at PEACE and go join your own species. Uranians perhaps?





Now you know, ladies and gentle-stalkers, why there are so many anorexics in Assunta.
The counselors CONVINCE you to be one.



:)

Damnit Blogger!

STOP BEING RETARDED! D:

What Deborah Christie Tan Means

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

(This was supposed to center mere entertainment, but so much of it was true...
It scared me.)